Words poured out of my heart expressing a deep and sincere cry for help. I had been awakened to a whole other reality:
Birth as a Human Rights Issue.
How was it possible that in today’s society and in a developed country, I would be denied the rights to birth at home due to a shortage of midwives?
The injustice I felt was beyond my capacity to mold my feelings into words. My body was filled with adrenaline.
The emergence of Wild Woman was ready to fight for its freedom of choice. A not so silent revolution was being born inside of me.
While I was waiting to hear back from the midwifery centres, I begun researching all the local doulas and one by one I sent them a heartfelt email.
I needed a labour companion to hold sacred space for me if I was going to give birth at a hospital. Someone that was going to act as a buffer between myself and the medical staff, not wanting to be interrupted from what I knew to be a spiritual experience. A woman who I could trust, and who would be there for my partner, guiding him in being an active participant in the birthing process and feeling confident in her presence.
I knew that turning inward into a meditative state was going to aid me in becoming one with the surges and would allow me to surrender my Self to the journey, of welcoming my baby earth-side and my own birth as Mother.
As unexpected twists and turns had taken over my life, I never saw this one coming. Each doula was fully booked. I could not believe it. How could this be? I was expecting an August baby after all. They recommended each other back and forth, with no luck on my side.
You can imagine the state I was in.
Finally, a response from the Midwifery Centre…
I took a deep breath inhaling hope and exhaling expectations, trying my best to remain strong.
“I must have the rights to choose where to birth!” I was set on it. It became my mantra, my declaration to the Universe.
A long dialogue in writing unfolded between a Midwife and myself. I was beginning to consider having an unassisted birth at home.
And the phone rang…
I was being invited to meet with her face to face.
Expecting to get lectured because of my apparent stubbornness to give up on my rights to choose where to birth, it never occurred to me that there might be a shimmer of hope after our exchanges.
The day came and I nervously set foot in the Midwifery Centre, my beloved by my side. We met with a kind-hearted wise woman who welcomed us with open arms. I, on the other hand, was completely blind to the intention and purpose that was hiding behind this chance encounter. I had become accustomed to having the doors to my dreams shut, but something different happened that day.
A door was opened, one that I never anticipated after all the obstacles I had been put through.
I was overwhelmed with relief.
I could start mending the broken pieces of outrage and look forward to welcoming my baby earth-side, with the right to birth at home – where I felt safest.
As soon as I relaxed and eased myself back into a peaceful and sacred pregnancy, a beautiful neighbour of mine approached me to offer herself as my doula, reminiscing her days as one in the past.
I felt complete. I finally had my Midwife and doula.
The Universe had responded to the cry of Wild Woman, wanting to embody her strength, power and wisdom – without the presence of fear but rather in complete love, trust and appreciation for her body’s deep wisdom and inner knowing of how to surrender herself to the divine and birth.
I share this personal and intimate story of mine, with the intention of awakening you to the spiritual path your choice holds on your future and how to approach it consciously from now on.
If only I had known what I knew today, here are straight-forward simple facts I wish I knew early on in my pregnancy, if not before the conscious conception of our son:
:: Unless you live in a country like New Zealand, Neatherlands, UK or Switzerland, and you are considering having a home birth or at a birthing centre, you will need a Midwife as your Primary Care Provider.
:: You need to have a healthy, low-risk, pregnancy in order to be able to have a home birth.
:: If your Primary Care Provider is an Obgyn, you will have to be admitted at the hospital to birth.
:: You can have an empowering birth in a hospital setting by expressing your freedom of choice and with the assistance of a Doula as your labour companion, if you so wish.
I urge you to take your power back by understanding your choices and the territory that come with it.
Empower yourself with knowledge.
Ask questions about what to expect in different scenarios.
Do not go into the most important and defining moment of your life – along with your baby’s – without knowing what kind of obstacles you might encounter.
Stand up for yourself and your beliefs.
Find yourself a doula as a labour companion.
I hope that you find comfort and peace within yourself as you prepare mentally, emotionally and spiritually in welcoming your baby in a safe and loving environment.
To better understand the territory that comes with your choice, I invite you to watch a documentary that was as life-altering as the book that changed my life, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.
The Business of Being Born was produced by Ricki Lake and Abby Estein. Ricki and Abby take you on a journey exploring the maternity care system in America, sadly a model for other countries around the world, and highlight the industry behind birth.
With love & light,
SACRED CIRCLE: I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE BUSINESS OF BEING BORN!
WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT?
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